Share Your Love Not Grief

You might not know it, but often people believe in keeping their grief hidden inside.
But the fact is it’s impossible.

What ever you feel inside, will eventually come out.
Come out through frustration, resentment or even anger.

Never try hiding your negative feelings, cause you know you can’t.

When you know your relative has cancer, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind?
‘Is he going to die?’
‘He must be suffering.’
‘His family must be going through a lot of pain and expenses.’

What ever your mind comes out, it’s not good isn’t it?

Do you know we are actually showing these thoughts through our physiology and facial expression?
Unable to keep eye contact, feeling tense, shivering, facial expression of sadness or remorse are all typical thoughts that our body is reflecting.

Is this good or bad?

Imagine, if you’re the patient or family, how would you feel when you see someone behaving like that when you inform them about it?

Do you feel better?
Or
More pain adding on to your current one?
More negative thoughts coming out of your mind?

Isn’t your purpose of visit supposed to comfort the patient and family? Or provide additional support?

There’s just too much bad experience for us to stop behaving like that.
Memories of our loved ones or friend who’ve lost the battle to illness are causing these negative thoughts.

What about those people without such experience? Why are they behaving in such way too?

It’s because there are too many horror stories going around us from those people who went through it.
It’s because of these stories that people are behaving in such way.

Don’t share horror stories.
Don’t share horror experiences.

Stop people, who take prides in sharing such stories, stop them politely.
Change the subject of conversation, or share something good about your experience.
(Even if you have to dig hard to search for it)

People who are used in talking about things that’s bad might not realize it; they are actually causing pain to the others.
Let them understand ‘Isn’t it good to hear good things rather than bad’.

If you keep looking at only the bad things happening to the person, whenever you see that person you just can’t keep a bland face.
You can’t just keep a cheerful face and pretend that things are normal isn’t it?

That’s what happen to a lot of people, their reaction simply display on their faces even if they’re trying hard not to.
This will cause hope to dwindle from the patient, little or more.

Experience the goodness of sharing your love, not grief.
Change your thoughts, stop yourself from feeling the bad =)